DANGERS WAY TESTIMONY
This was written in the months following Shawn's car accident in January of 1992, as I was seeking answers that I needed to put my heart at rest. I kept thinking I had done something wrong for Shawn for him to lose both feet, a knee and a finger. Don't get me wrong I have made many mistakes and some that have really affected my children. I have been very naive and foolish, but I love my children and if I had a part in something like that, I wanted to know. During these times he was living with us but he was independant and could care for himself. He was not a quitter or a complainer. However I watched him suffer mercilessly with Phantom pain
When we talked with Dr's they indicated that the Phantom pain could be the memory of impact. I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I could handle that level of pain.
They sent us to pain clinics and would numb him from the waist down and then wait for him to wake up. Their hope was that he would awake with a new memory. It didn't happen.
For the first few months I watched as he grappled with the pain. Someone went to the accident site and found his hat. They washed it and took it to him at the hospital. Needless to say it rarely came off his head.
There were times when he struggled with the pain and I have seen him take that hat and flop it up and down on his head over 50 times in a row in frustration. He would do this several times a day. Anyone that knew Shawn knew he rarely let me trim his hair. But flopping that hat literally wore a bald spot on the back of his head. It was black, with red flames on the back and sides.
Basically these are the reasons for my prayer to understand why this had happened to my son. Trust me, when you watch your child suffer like this, you want to know why. I know we are not supposed to ask that question, but God understands.
My son drove a 1987 firebird, and was on his way home from Buckner, Il. ato Benton.
He lost control and overcorrected, and hit drivers side door first into a tree near Rend City Road. Fire birds had T frames and there was nothing to protect his legs. He lost both of his feet at the scene. The accident actually broke the car into two pieces. The front stopped where Shawn was, but the rear of the car went so many yards farther down the road. People who came on scene first thought it was a two car accident. The first two who found him happened to be friends of his. They said he was trying to get up and didn't understand he had lost his feet. One of them had been debating about becoming an E.M.T. I was told he took wires from the engine to make tourniquets to help control the bleeding. They also called for ambulances. There was an ambulance at the front door and they were waiting to take him to Cape Girardeau to Southeast Missouri hospital.
When I got on the elevator I passed a person carrying 2 bags of ice. It didn't register with me what was in the bags until I walked off the elevator and saw a pair of sneakers on the floor near his room.
When I walked into that room, for the first time I saw a flat sheet where his feet were supposed to be, I thought I would pass out. Then it hit me what was in the bags. I had to pull it together because Shawn was saying, "If they would move me up on the bed and keep my legs from hanging off, they wouldn't hurt so bad". I held his hand and told him his legs were broken and that's why they hurt so bad. I couldn't tell him they were gone. He ended up with one above the knee and one below the knee, amputation. He also lost the middle finger on his left hand.
I'm truly sorry if I am sharing too much, I just want people to understand where my head was during this time. No, Shawn didn't die then, he lived 18 years with that phantom pain and contracted Hep-C from the blood transfusions that saved his life. I'm grateful for the time we had with him, but after watching him suffer for 18 years, I wondered if it was too hard for him to be here. I remember praying for God to save his life. Looking back, I can see that it was selfish of me to pray for him to stay. I know God gave us grace to endure. All I can say is I wouldn't trade those years for anything!
When he came home from the hospital, we had to face learning how to do things in new ways. That took time and effort, and sometimes a lot of thought. I never saw him afraid to try. The way you could tell he was in pain is he would shake his left stump. He sat with his right stump in the air a lit of times. He had to lay back in the car because he would be off balance sitting like we do. I reached to hold him back when I had to brake the car too quickly. He got upset with me, so I had to change doing that. Over the years he became adept at doing things that would stumble us. He never complained and though I worried he would be suicidal, he never was.
IN DANGERS WAY
Lord, I often question
Why did this have to be?
What caused this situation
What brought this pain to me?
Why did it have to happen?
I just don't understand.
I know I need Your help, Lord
So please come take my hand!
Help me to comprehend,
The answers which I seek.
Give me strength to stand
For truly I am weak!
CHILD . . .
THERE'S NO RIGHT ANSWER
TO THE THINGS YOU ASK,
BUT, SATAN IS AT WORK ON EARTH,
DESTRUCTION IS HIS TASK!
THROUGHOUT A PERSON'S LIFE
THE CHOICES THAT THEY MAKE,
OFTEN PUTS THEM IN DANGERS WAY
WITH EVERYTHING AT STAKE!
SOMETIMES CHOICES NOT OF NOW
BUT,GENERATIONS PAST,
CAUSE THIS HARMFUL SITUATION,
NOW TO COME TO PASS!
IF A PERSON TURNS HIS EYES
AND SEARCHES FOR MY FACE,
THEN ALONE, CAN I INTERVENE
AND POUR ON HIM MY GRACE!
IF HE IS NOT ABLE
TO SEEK ME FOR HIMSELF,
ANOTHER CAN STAND IN THE GAP
AND SEEK THE NEEDED HELP!
BUT, THE TIME WILL COME,
JUST LIKE THE DAWNING OF THE DAY,
WHEN STANDING AT A CROSSROAD,
HE MUST CHOOSE HIS WAY!
BE IT SPIRIT LIFE OR DEATH
THE CHOICE IS HIS ALONE,
FOR NO ONE BUT THE SON OF GOD
FOR OTHERS CAN ATONE!
POETRY OF LIFE
Peggy Jeanine Woody
3/8/1992. ©
He has a below the knee in his right leg and an above the knee on the left. He was 22 when it happened and he passed at the age of 41. He had a coronary that took him instantly.
